Temperance Lamprey-Pond holds dual PhDs in gender studies and the study of gender studies. Her most recent publications include "Framing the Other: Gender Profiling in Beauty Pageant Hairdressing" and "You Can Make Doilies, Too! A Guide for New Crocheters."
Before ascending the ivory tower of academe, she was a professional bass player and a carny. Her weapon of choice is a Ruger 10/22 semiautomatic, but only on Tuesdays.
She does not find you amusing in the least.