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Often cited as the quintessential hero of Degenerational literature, Piper is the main protagonist of Jenkins' Echs Ess Yun. The character of Piper as described is uniquely vague for a work of such profound importance to the post-Excession cultural landscape. Piper's gender is unknown, their location is unknown, their history and origins are unknown, their family is unknown, their motivations are unknown. As the renowned literary criticism collective Three 6 Mafia famously quipped “the sum total of what we know about Piper is, in fact, only that they like to get down.” The following passage will give the unfamiliar reader the general idea. A few words have been redacted in keeping with scholarly decorum.

Piper found the man willing, and took their huge _____ and, finding a round _____ ____, blasted it with a ______ . It felt gritty and _____, but there wasn't any feeling left in his ____ . He said to Piper “Take my _____, please, put it on that ____ you magnificent _____. A wary armadillo then came upon the scene and, taking Piper's look of surprise as an invitation, proceeded to _____ both of their ____ with his hard _____. ____ was all over everything. “______ me that was incredible,” Piper exclaimed. “But I fear that if I stop ____ing your ___ all over the ____, I will cease to exist. If we are not creatures of pleasure, than do we even deserve God's love. Does God truly love us? Or does he just like to watch as I put my _____ on your ____ and grab that turkey vulture over there and have it ____ my ____ ?"

The story ends when Piper is afflicted with Carla's Gift and, according to the author, the story got really boring so she stopped writing it.


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