One:Gallo Wasp

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Overview and discovery[edit]

The Gallo wasp (Cynipidae vinorum) is theorized to be a recently formed sister species of the gall wasp. Its discovery inspired Gruber Hans Gruber's belief that profound, enduring genetic changes could result from the Freakish Rain. The first Gallo wasp colonies were reportedly encountered by Lars Bang Larsen (Gruber's protégé/lover; also a notable clone/descendant of the famed 21st century art historian-scholar-curator) during one of the pair's smolderingly romantic/intellectual ”pastoral party picnics” that were a popular topic of gossip among the elite of the time.

Stylized depiction of the discovery of the Gallo wasp


Although anatomically and physiologically similar to the gall wasp, the metasoma of the Gallo wasp is shockingly large and rotund, comparable in both shape and size to jugs of the famously inexpensive imbibement. Due to its extremely non-aerodynamic form, the Gallo wasp effectively is flightless and thus prone to wistful sighs. The wasp's distended exoskeletal vessel contains a sweet nectar (called “gludge”), that when consumed induces a breezy lightheadedness followed by vivid tactile/proprioceptive hallucinations that one's appendages are engorged, and the resulting urge to giggle uncontrollably. Both semblance and effects were noted during aforementioned bucolic luncheon.

The effects of gludge

Cultivation and regulation[edit]

Colonies of this slow, sighing insect are easily captured and therefore often cultivated for the sale/distribution of gludge, which generates surprisingly large profits from what is surely one of the smaller niches of the black market. Gludge is one of the (allegedly) socially, medically, and/or ethically hazardous bio-substances that the Moo-Cow Memorandum attempted to address.


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