One:Festival of Temporal Deviations

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The Festival of Temporal Deviations is a yearly religious or quasi-religious[1] commemoration observed by several cultural groups. While the festival is observed throughout the world in gatherings of diverse sorts, the largest and most important festival celebration takes place near Spokane, Washington, and the Ether vortex. The Festival was probably originally celebrated by the Zebanites, but other groups (see below) have become involved as well. Rev. Dr. Samuel Newton Farrington, a specialist in post-Excession religion, has theorized that the Festival represents prototypically the pilgrimage-centered religiosity common in the "present" or "Posttemporal" era.[2]

Popular Practices[edit]

The most prevalent and recognizable ritual practice during the Festival is that of the "debirthing" of chicken eggs. This involves attempts by participants to liquefy a chicken and reintroduce it to an eggshell which has been excavated for the purpose. S. Polyspanakopita, who has conducted ethnographic research in Spokane connected with the Festival, commented that "The practice of chicken debirthing can be interpreted as a ritual action -- with what might be called "magical" overtones, if one must use that word -- reliant upon the classic ritual logic of 'this like that" or "as below, so above'; i.e., participants hope that by reintroducing the chicken slurry back into the egg they might bring about the parallel reintroduction of the world or cosmos back into its pre-extant abode or (and this is the operative synecdoche) its egg/womb." Polyspanakopita suggests that this practice was first introduced by the Zebanites based upon their interpretation of Atherton's Puzzle. [3]


The Festival of Temporal Deviations is a term applied to the activities of several groups, each of which has different theological or cultural reasons for venerating the Ether vortex, whether qua Ether or as a symbol of the Excessions generally.

The Zebanites make up the largest group of celebrants, as discussed above (See: Popular Practices).

Adherents of Brettonism, a "millenarian, apocalyptic, horotheistic"[4] religious movement whose adherents venerate the Bretton Extract, are also (and increasingly) common festival-goers. Their participation in the Festival has been linked to certain interpretations of phrases from the Extract: "I strike my fist on the wall and it shatters, bone and skin like glass" has been linked to the eggshell-worldwomb metaphor and "bruising wind" has been linked to the ever-present wind phenomenon in Spokane.[5]

New Free Presbyterians often attend the festival as part of large protest groups or hold small synchronous protest prayer gatherings in locales far from Spokane.


  1. Farrington, Rev. Dr. S. N., Posttemporal Religion(s): Sources and Methods.
  2. Farrington, p.94
  3. Polyspanakopita, S., Spokane Sucks, See especially ch. 4, "Zebonite Gallitheurgonics and Related Ovomysticisms."
  4. Farrington, Rev. Dr. S. N., "New Horotheological Perspectives", Horotheology: A Prolegomenon, ed. Polyspanakopita.
  5. Cite error: Invalid <ref> tag; no text was provided for refs named Polyspanakopita2


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