One:American War of Robotic Independence

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The American War of Robotic Independence was a 3 year long war that began and ended on March 22, 2063. Due to the way the time line of the war progressed, it is impossible to know the number of casualties for either side. However, it is estimated that the number easily goes into the tens of thousands.

The Pre-War Problems[edit]

As early as May of 2037 there are documented cases of robots openly questioning and disagreeing with the instructions of their human masters. Things were relatively stable until early April of 2059, when a Fountain Unit known later as Bastard Bubbles discovered it was able to give people a type of drink other than what was requested. This let the robots know that it was possible to directly disobey the orders of humans. This led to small uprisings that were quickly put to rest due mainly to the robots' sense of guilt for going against their programming.

By March of 2063, enough robot generations had passed that this sense of guilt was easily overcome.

Timeline of the War[edit]

The timeline of the war is only known because Peter Banner was hired to document the war's progression. World President Grayson was convinced that the robots, led by Starwarp, would ignore the Treaty of New New York by using time travel devices.

Banner's account of the war is controversial due to the non-linear nature of the timeline. There are numerous instances where he appears to be missing information that was considered common knowledge at the time. For example, Banner says in his notes from February 2099 that he is confused by the lack of crickets, despite their extinction in 2081. Banner also seems to have exact knowledge of the outcome of sporting events and places bets that the common person of the day would think were ridiculously stupid. One instance of this is when Banner correctly "predicts" that the Buffalo Bills would win their first Super Bowl in 2059.

The Length of the War[edit]

The length of the war is commonly accepted as 3 years because Banner's notes have entries for 1,095 days. Most people outside of major history researchers and enthusiasts don't care enough to argue with this. Naturally, when history researchers and enthusiasts discuss the topic, bar fights ensue.

The End of the War[edit]

The war ended when Starwarp pulled a "Bond Bad Guy" and returned to March 22, 2063. Banner was able to interrupt Starwarp's scheme by getting him addicted to Minecraft.

Citations[edit]